Article by Tony Hodgison
Every relationship goes through a rough patch once in awhile. It is entirely unavoidable. It is the result of two different people spending a great deal of time together. Eventually, aspects of one’s personality will come out that will annoy the other, habits will cause concern, and just simple gestures can turn into a major argument.
When this happens, it does not necessarily mean that the relationship is over. But it does mean that you need to decide to turn your attention to righting what has gone wrong. There are two simple things you can do that will help in solving relationship problems: communicate with your partner and work at making changes.
Communication
The phrase “communication is key” may be somewhat of a cliche at this point, but it is absolutely vital in solving relationship problems. It does not matter how hard you work, what gifts you bring, or what efforts you make if you do not know what is bothering your partner.
Men and women alike can be horrible at this aspect of a relationship, both having a tendency to only hear exactly what they want to hear. Pay attention to the other person’s words – not just the gist of what they are saying. Certain wording can give a hint as to deeper problems, and you can often find that what is really needed may not be what has been verbally communicated.
Working on Problems
The other, perhaps harder, part of solving relationship problems is having the willingness to work on those problems. Some want quick fixes – a romantic dinner, a vacation, jewelry – but these are no better than band aids on an open wound. Many times, real, legitimate work is needed.
This is not to say that you should change your personality for your partner, but you do need to be respectful of that person if you wish to remain together. Working on problems can mean anything from starting to help around the house more to attending counseling, but you must do whatever is necessary to address your partner’s concerns. If you find yourself unwilling or unable to do this, you should question your commitment to the relationship.
Many problems can be solved simply through better communication and a willingness to work through differences. Making an effort will please most partners, especially if the effort is made relatively early into the problem. While you cannot, and should not, change everything about yourself just to please another person, you should be willing to make sacrifices if you take your relationship seriously. Just make sure that this process is always a two way street, and many problems can be avoided in the long run.
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